Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
