Heybabeimwearingurpanties
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
