people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
