I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Damn victory sex feels great
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