He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
