she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
