why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
