the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Never underestimate the power of titties
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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