shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm at about main and main street
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
