My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just want nice things and good sex
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
