well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
