Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You have to summon your inner elephant
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
