Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
