We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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