margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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