You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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