Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
