How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
