dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Pooping to opera.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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