it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
