had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
