i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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