is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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