I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
