I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
