Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
