im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
