i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
