He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize