Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
