Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
