I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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