She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
