a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
