she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
