singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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