Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
