then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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