so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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