I want to walk on stilts...naked
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
