i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
