I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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