Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
