i jhust puked up my retainher.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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