Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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