my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
