She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
