You made me cry and you don't even care
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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