i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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