my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
