he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
