I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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