awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
