I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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