i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
