Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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