Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
