Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize