I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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