I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
