walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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