Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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