just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
