the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
