there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize