I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
