The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
is it fun? or sober?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize