You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
