Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
