Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
