you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
