K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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