Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found puke in my bra..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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