I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
