Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize