Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
