We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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