Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
